When Someone Special Had To Go..
It was Monday, 30June.
I was slacking at the entlistees' mess (its a kinda lounge) after lunching, killing time to pass till it hits 1330hrs and back to my hell workplace. I received a call.. from my uncle. Busu.
"Hello, Hafiz"
"Ye?? Busu kenape ni?"
"Nenek.. Nenek tanak bangun ni"
"hah.."
"Nenek tanak bangun.. skarang kite kat NUH.."
"Ok ok Hafiz turun skarang jugak"
From that moment, i knew things weren't good. But i'm totally astonished for Nenek has been healthy for the past donkey years, just that she has slight congestive heart problems. But it was really unexpected. My mind ran wild, a lot a lot of imaginations. And emotions start running. It wasn't clear for i thought she could still survive, hopefully.
After a short bust up with my stupid senior medic, i was granted halfday off. It was vital. But i know that bitch at work isn't happy about my half day.
Cabbed down. In the Cab i was praying to God in tears to save Nenek's life.
The next thing i knew was, i was at the A&E ambulance dept. I saw Abg Is, Busu, and my 2 other Aunts, and my Dad. All in the counselling room.
Nenek has died. It was speculated she exhaled her last breath at home.
I kept strong, trying to hold my tears back while the rest were in trauma, especially Abg Is. I know, who could ever live without Nenek around? It was really uncalled for. Everyone was tearing, but we know that most likely its because of her emotions that led her to this.
Or maybe it was just her time to go. Days before her death, she behaved strangely. Tried to clear some doubts regarding family issues with Dad but he wouldnt turn up. I'm glad that i cleared her doubts and made her happy.
Mungkin nenek dah tau nenek dah nak pergy, thats why nenek tanya macam2..
She even said things like "bukan apa, nanti kalau nenek dah mati ni, nenek tanak adek bradek bapak kamu gadoh"..
Maybe it made sense.
Typically, the case became a blame case. Everyone started blaming.. but aku rasa ni tak patot dilakukan. Sudah ajal. Terimalah Qada dan Qadar.
Burial Day.
It was clearly seen how it affects other people temendously.
Di mandikan, Di kapankan, Di solatkan, terus Di kebumikan di Pusara Aman.
I contributed my best to help smoothen the process. There were too many things to mentioned. But i volunteerd without obligations, stepped into the graveyard to sambut jenazah. And when all's done.
N-1-1 1001. That's her lot.
It kept flashing in my mind about how peaceful Nenek looked when we were reciting Shalawat and kissing her forehead after di mandikan.
And what's more hurting was when we loaded her into her grave. And we have to leave her. Right there, alone. It hurts a lot.
You know even if u lose someone, u can't compare by losing someone by death. Like the person isn't there anymore. Does not exist in the world, only in memories.
Me and my siblings grew up with her. She took care of us with insatiable care and love of a Grandma. We feel secure with her. Dulu kalau kene halau, mesti ada "Rumah Nenek" utk berteduh. The term Rumah Nenek is so used to be said by us until now. Sampai nenek dah takde lagi.
I remembered how she used to coax me when i was crying and resting my ear onto the floor to listen to my Mum's footstep, wanting her to come home from work fast. I remembered how nenek used to cook for me baked beans with rice. I remembered when i was in K2 when nenek was so proud of me for i dunno what. I remembered how she taught me how to read the Analog Clock and how we argued about pronouncing "12 O'clock".
She'd say "Twell!" i'd say "bukan lah, Twelff!"I remembered all that.
When i was a kid i lived with her until i was 10. I remembered being accepted to live with her again for Full-time after i was halau-ed by Mum. I lived with Nenek since Jun2005 to Mid 2007. That was the best time of my life. I remembered how thankful she was when i bought her Panadol Extra. I remembered how loving she was when i introduced my other half to her. I remembered all that..
Kepada Arwah Nenek yang Tercinta..
Kite semua sayang nenek.. kenapelah nenek kene pergi dulu? Belum sempat Hafiz jasa budi nenek.. Hafiz ingat, nenek dapat tgk hafiz dpt keje dulu ke, abes NS dulu ke.. tetapi malang tidak berbau. Skarang hari2 kalau hafiz gi rumah nenek, nenek dah takde lagi kat rumah.. dari kecik nenek jage kite, tibe2 nenek dah tak ada. Mungkin nenek dah penat.. Hafiz harap Nenek dah faham tentang hal keluarga yg senantiasa ada. Skarang semua dah selesai, cuma Ashraff aja kite masih belom selenggarakan. Nasib baik Ashraff paham dan terima kenyataan yang Nenek dah kembali ke Rahmatullah.
Kite semua dah tak ada Nenek dalam dunia.. Kite slalu doakan Nenek, semoga roh nenek tenang. Semoga Nenek dapat bertemu dgn Arwah Atuk yang dah lama meninggalkan dunia sebelum Nenek. Sekarang kite hanye mampu mengenangkan dan berdoa utk nenek..
Hafiz harap nenek bahagia di situ .. amin. :)
But deep inside its still hard for me to accept it. I might not be my usual for the moment.
We'd be having Tahlil on 3rd and 6th July respectively, at 8pm onwards. Guys if u wanna come, do text or call me. Thanks.
Signing Off
Hafyz Squier
I was slacking at the entlistees' mess (its a kinda lounge) after lunching, killing time to pass till it hits 1330hrs and back to my hell workplace. I received a call.. from my uncle. Busu.
"Hello, Hafiz"
"Ye?? Busu kenape ni?"
"Nenek.. Nenek tanak bangun ni"
"hah.."
"Nenek tanak bangun.. skarang kite kat NUH.."
"Ok ok Hafiz turun skarang jugak"
From that moment, i knew things weren't good. But i'm totally astonished for Nenek has been healthy for the past donkey years, just that she has slight congestive heart problems. But it was really unexpected. My mind ran wild, a lot a lot of imaginations. And emotions start running. It wasn't clear for i thought she could still survive, hopefully.
After a short bust up with my stupid senior medic, i was granted halfday off. It was vital. But i know that bitch at work isn't happy about my half day.
Cabbed down. In the Cab i was praying to God in tears to save Nenek's life.
The next thing i knew was, i was at the A&E ambulance dept. I saw Abg Is, Busu, and my 2 other Aunts, and my Dad. All in the counselling room.
Nenek has died. It was speculated she exhaled her last breath at home.
I kept strong, trying to hold my tears back while the rest were in trauma, especially Abg Is. I know, who could ever live without Nenek around? It was really uncalled for. Everyone was tearing, but we know that most likely its because of her emotions that led her to this.
Or maybe it was just her time to go. Days before her death, she behaved strangely. Tried to clear some doubts regarding family issues with Dad but he wouldnt turn up. I'm glad that i cleared her doubts and made her happy.
Mungkin nenek dah tau nenek dah nak pergy, thats why nenek tanya macam2..
She even said things like "bukan apa, nanti kalau nenek dah mati ni, nenek tanak adek bradek bapak kamu gadoh"..
Maybe it made sense.
Typically, the case became a blame case. Everyone started blaming.. but aku rasa ni tak patot dilakukan. Sudah ajal. Terimalah Qada dan Qadar.
Burial Day.
It was clearly seen how it affects other people temendously.
Di mandikan, Di kapankan, Di solatkan, terus Di kebumikan di Pusara Aman.
I contributed my best to help smoothen the process. There were too many things to mentioned. But i volunteerd without obligations, stepped into the graveyard to sambut jenazah. And when all's done.
N-1-1 1001. That's her lot.
It kept flashing in my mind about how peaceful Nenek looked when we were reciting Shalawat and kissing her forehead after di mandikan.
And what's more hurting was when we loaded her into her grave. And we have to leave her. Right there, alone. It hurts a lot.
You know even if u lose someone, u can't compare by losing someone by death. Like the person isn't there anymore. Does not exist in the world, only in memories.
Me and my siblings grew up with her. She took care of us with insatiable care and love of a Grandma. We feel secure with her. Dulu kalau kene halau, mesti ada "Rumah Nenek" utk berteduh. The term Rumah Nenek is so used to be said by us until now. Sampai nenek dah takde lagi.
I remembered how she used to coax me when i was crying and resting my ear onto the floor to listen to my Mum's footstep, wanting her to come home from work fast. I remembered how nenek used to cook for me baked beans with rice. I remembered when i was in K2 when nenek was so proud of me for i dunno what. I remembered how she taught me how to read the Analog Clock and how we argued about pronouncing "12 O'clock".
She'd say "Twell!" i'd say "bukan lah, Twelff!"I remembered all that.
When i was a kid i lived with her until i was 10. I remembered being accepted to live with her again for Full-time after i was halau-ed by Mum. I lived with Nenek since Jun2005 to Mid 2007. That was the best time of my life. I remembered how thankful she was when i bought her Panadol Extra. I remembered how loving she was when i introduced my other half to her. I remembered all that..
Kepada Arwah Nenek yang Tercinta..
Kite semua sayang nenek.. kenapelah nenek kene pergi dulu? Belum sempat Hafiz jasa budi nenek.. Hafiz ingat, nenek dapat tgk hafiz dpt keje dulu ke, abes NS dulu ke.. tetapi malang tidak berbau. Skarang hari2 kalau hafiz gi rumah nenek, nenek dah takde lagi kat rumah.. dari kecik nenek jage kite, tibe2 nenek dah tak ada. Mungkin nenek dah penat.. Hafiz harap Nenek dah faham tentang hal keluarga yg senantiasa ada. Skarang semua dah selesai, cuma Ashraff aja kite masih belom selenggarakan. Nasib baik Ashraff paham dan terima kenyataan yang Nenek dah kembali ke Rahmatullah.
Kite semua dah tak ada Nenek dalam dunia.. Kite slalu doakan Nenek, semoga roh nenek tenang. Semoga Nenek dapat bertemu dgn Arwah Atuk yang dah lama meninggalkan dunia sebelum Nenek. Sekarang kite hanye mampu mengenangkan dan berdoa utk nenek..
Hafiz harap nenek bahagia di situ .. amin. :)
But deep inside its still hard for me to accept it. I might not be my usual for the moment.
We'd be having Tahlil on 3rd and 6th July respectively, at 8pm onwards. Guys if u wanna come, do text or call me. Thanks.
Signing Off
Hafyz Squier
