I'm a disappointment, anyway.
dear Makas
sorry i couldnt turn up for yesterday's football thingy. and sorry couldnt turn up for Bushmen Gig today. its kinda sad. and feverish. but things do happen.
aku kene gi mesjid utk sambut tahun baru Islam.
and mak aku... *toot* kadang2 aku malas nak balik rumah.. cos of her.. and the other.. what's a house if its not peaceful.. then when you're not happy, muka masam..
how does it feel if muka kau tengah masam, then your mum will be like "AH!! BAWAK BALIK LAGI MUKA IBLIS KAU TU. MAK SUROH CARIK MESJID, TAK CARIK."
it sucks ah.. bukannye nak tanye ke ape.. or coax ke.. ya im turning 21, im still a kid at heart.. :(
when you're facing your own issues and work issues, all thats needed is a peaceful time at home. when u put a PREACHER, a LEGONG, and a BECOK at home.. its not so nice. war of the words.
mental torture.
sometimes i wish i can be alone, live alone. i miss living with my late granny and my uncle.
LIFE WAS A PARADISE BACK THEN.
its fucken irritating at home, its not a home anymore. whats a home without food and sweet chilled drinks. whats a home when u feel more pressure at home.
dear mom, sometimes u forget that i'm your soon too. mom, i understand your strength and beliefs in our religion and its teachings, but do remember our religion too teaches us happiness. sometimes u get too way overboard..
u are a fanatic, like those Indonesian Terrorists whom u claim to be looking cheerful and happy when they're about to be hanged/shot cos of terrorism. kadang2, cara perbualan mak bagaikan ustazah yang telah mengajar Islam utk satu abad gitu.
mak, cara pengajaran bukan mcm gini. u cannot use harsh words to educate your sons. u were also brought up in a not-so-warak environment; same for us. u try too hard, to change. i know u haven't gotten over dad, but u don't have to hurt us by saying..
"KORANG ADE DARAH SI BEROK (BAPAK) MENGALIR DALAM BADAN. JANGAN IKOT MACAM DIA, GILA BATAM. MAIN MUSIC, KUAT TIPU2 ORANG. JANGAN TERIKOT MACAM FAMILY DIA. SEMUA TAMAK."
hafiz tau kadang2 mak feeling2 macam Serikandi Islam, berjuang untuk agama. tapi mak pun kene ingat, kite semua manusia.. u started to Dakwah about 8years ago, Al-Quran not finished, and haven't perform Hajji. ok, setakat attending FARDHU AIN and you're so proud of it. what have u accomplished as a Muslimah?
still don't realize that your ethics are abysmal, or what they call, "riak".
ALL YOU DO IS PREACH LAH OKAY, IM SO SICK OF IT OK NURSE!!
U didn't bring up the family well, u didn't give in to dad last time. dalam rumah tangga, isteri yang kene dgr ckp suami. i remembered when i was young, YOU TWO always squabble. your lashing mouth mustve hurt him alot, which caused a lot of tragic consequences.
yet sometimes (ALL THE DAMN TIME) u sound like a qualified Islamic Preacher. u keep saying that i am just like dad. always keeping quiet, never say out or express how i feel.
for what??!! whenever i do that, YOU ALWAYS WIN. like just now. so much for your "things can be discussed".
its useless to say how i feel cos u always win, mom. u always do. you're the best, the champion, the olympiad, the BEST NURSE IN SGH, the BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. so much for self-claiming "mak rugged, mak macam bestfren korang, apape leh bilang mak." bloody hell. a bestfriend would support whatever i do. a bestfriend wouldn't call me names or criticize me. a bestfriend wouldn't stop me from things unless its HARMFUL.
yelah bilang mak!! bilang bende, muke marah!! nanti kene maki lagi ada!! tak sayang anak betol!! thanks ah mak!! byk mak punye BESTFREN!! PODAH!!
mom, if im the worst son on earth, like how u describe my behaviour as.. why dont u pickup another son from Jamiyah Halfway House.. i can live as i am.. i can find my own lodging.. u make me feel like u picked me up from a sea of tortoises and mermaids. i feel so unbelonged, and so lost albeit all my problems im facing.
what do you know, only know how to preach. preacher. u need a mirror.
and to someone out there, i understand where u come from. i know how much u hate me now.. i guess i'm a disappointment in every aspect. God knows.
signing off,
hafyz squier
ps: sorry guys.. for this entry.. i dont have any other means of expressing myself..im down-ed. :(
sorry i couldnt turn up for yesterday's football thingy. and sorry couldnt turn up for Bushmen Gig today. its kinda sad. and feverish. but things do happen.
aku kene gi mesjid utk sambut tahun baru Islam.
and mak aku... *toot* kadang2 aku malas nak balik rumah.. cos of her.. and the other.. what's a house if its not peaceful.. then when you're not happy, muka masam..
how does it feel if muka kau tengah masam, then your mum will be like "AH!! BAWAK BALIK LAGI MUKA IBLIS KAU TU. MAK SUROH CARIK MESJID, TAK CARIK."
it sucks ah.. bukannye nak tanye ke ape.. or coax ke.. ya im turning 21, im still a kid at heart.. :(
when you're facing your own issues and work issues, all thats needed is a peaceful time at home. when u put a PREACHER, a LEGONG, and a BECOK at home.. its not so nice. war of the words.
mental torture.
sometimes i wish i can be alone, live alone. i miss living with my late granny and my uncle.
LIFE WAS A PARADISE BACK THEN.
its fucken irritating at home, its not a home anymore. whats a home without food and sweet chilled drinks. whats a home when u feel more pressure at home.
dear mom, sometimes u forget that i'm your soon too. mom, i understand your strength and beliefs in our religion and its teachings, but do remember our religion too teaches us happiness. sometimes u get too way overboard..
u are a fanatic, like those Indonesian Terrorists whom u claim to be looking cheerful and happy when they're about to be hanged/shot cos of terrorism. kadang2, cara perbualan mak bagaikan ustazah yang telah mengajar Islam utk satu abad gitu.
mak, cara pengajaran bukan mcm gini. u cannot use harsh words to educate your sons. u were also brought up in a not-so-warak environment; same for us. u try too hard, to change. i know u haven't gotten over dad, but u don't have to hurt us by saying..
"KORANG ADE DARAH SI BEROK (BAPAK) MENGALIR DALAM BADAN. JANGAN IKOT MACAM DIA, GILA BATAM. MAIN MUSIC, KUAT TIPU2 ORANG. JANGAN TERIKOT MACAM FAMILY DIA. SEMUA TAMAK."
hafiz tau kadang2 mak feeling2 macam Serikandi Islam, berjuang untuk agama. tapi mak pun kene ingat, kite semua manusia.. u started to Dakwah about 8years ago, Al-Quran not finished, and haven't perform Hajji. ok, setakat attending FARDHU AIN and you're so proud of it. what have u accomplished as a Muslimah?
still don't realize that your ethics are abysmal, or what they call, "riak".
ALL YOU DO IS PREACH LAH OKAY, IM SO SICK OF IT OK NURSE!!
U didn't bring up the family well, u didn't give in to dad last time. dalam rumah tangga, isteri yang kene dgr ckp suami. i remembered when i was young, YOU TWO always squabble. your lashing mouth mustve hurt him alot, which caused a lot of tragic consequences.
yet sometimes (ALL THE DAMN TIME) u sound like a qualified Islamic Preacher. u keep saying that i am just like dad. always keeping quiet, never say out or express how i feel.
for what??!! whenever i do that, YOU ALWAYS WIN. like just now. so much for your "things can be discussed".
its useless to say how i feel cos u always win, mom. u always do. you're the best, the champion, the olympiad, the BEST NURSE IN SGH, the BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. so much for self-claiming "mak rugged, mak macam bestfren korang, apape leh bilang mak." bloody hell. a bestfriend would support whatever i do. a bestfriend wouldn't call me names or criticize me. a bestfriend wouldn't stop me from things unless its HARMFUL.
yelah bilang mak!! bilang bende, muke marah!! nanti kene maki lagi ada!! tak sayang anak betol!! thanks ah mak!! byk mak punye BESTFREN!! PODAH!!
mom, if im the worst son on earth, like how u describe my behaviour as.. why dont u pickup another son from Jamiyah Halfway House.. i can live as i am.. i can find my own lodging.. u make me feel like u picked me up from a sea of tortoises and mermaids. i feel so unbelonged, and so lost albeit all my problems im facing.
what do you know, only know how to preach. preacher. u need a mirror.
and to someone out there, i understand where u come from. i know how much u hate me now.. i guess i'm a disappointment in every aspect. God knows.
signing off,
hafyz squier
ps: sorry guys.. for this entry.. i dont have any other means of expressing myself..im down-ed. :(
Labels: probs and such.
